A Plea to the Potato Museum

Dear Idaho Potato Museum,

This weekend, my best friend and I took a "roadtrip" from Salt Lake to Rexburg to attend a friend's mission farewell. While on the freeway nearing Blackfoot, we saw a sign for a "Potato Museum". We were enthralled with the grand opportunity to become enlightened on some of the enriching culture of Idaho, and so quickly detoured from our route, throwing all thoughts of itinerary to the wind.

Quarter Life Crisis

So, I guess today is my birthday or something. It was on this day twenty years ago that I decided to grace the world with my presence. I say "decided" because I was born 16 days late... Even in the womb I liked sleeping in.
Speaking of sleeping in, I wish I could have slept through today. I might be having a quarter-life crisis. (It's a thing). According to a quiz I took online today, I'll die around age 90. That means I have lived 22% of my life already. And I haven't even done 22% of the things I want to do. And for some things, it's TOO LATE BECAUSE NOW I'LL NEVER BE A TEENAGER AGAIN. I have to be all responsible and adult-like now... (probably).

biffle.

So I have this best friend, who is pretty great. And I decided to write this post because she's super awesome and I love her soooo much. And also, because of this.

I obviously only do nice things for her when she makes me*. 

That looks nice enough, right? Except then she sent me a text* and a message* and tweeted at me* to say if I didn't write a really nice blog post about her she was going to kidneypunch^tm me so hard I'd feel it last year*. So this post is for Kalen. Because I'm scared of her*.

*Oh yeah. All of these starred things are lies.

Hashtag Umm

Recently while on Pinterest, I stumbled across this gem of a pin:

Now, I know that I spend way too many hours on this website and that by 2 a.m. I start to agree with any ol' pin, but this one really is true. When you're a tween, you cannot WAIT to be an adult with all its privileges and glory. But hold onto your britches and quit running towards your imminent grown-up-hood. Because being old is LAME.
The thing about being an "adult" (and by that I mean a college student about to hit my quarter-life crisis), is that it, well, kind of stinks sometimes. It's like those "Expectations vs. Reality memes you see online. Except this is only funny because it's true.

But it looks so good in the pictures...

Cirque du Kittay

One of my ten classes this semester is Physics 107--The Intro to Applied Physics Lab. We had to write a paper for today's class. The assignment:
This paper is to be approximately two pages, double spaced, in a font no larger than 12 point. The papers are to be on a single real-life application of the ideas in the labs you have performed. This is not supposed to be just a restatement of those ideas.

So. Here's my paper. I probably should have entitled it: "Please Don't Fail Me".

            Two words: kitten trapeze. The principles of physics that we have learned thus far in the course are widely applicable, from what happens when I drive to the grocery store to jumping off a building. The rules are also more applicable to more exotic circumstances. For example, when I inevitably become an old cat lady, the physics rules we have learned will help me feed Twinkle von Yum-Yum and my 46 other cats. Through application of these principles, I will run the first, and only, cat circus, Cirque du Kittay.

All I need is 47 cats

I am basically destined to be a cat lady. Don't believe me? I'll prove it.
First. It's in my blood. My dad hates cats, but obviously these things skip a generation. Plus I'm one-fourth Canadian which starts with "ca-" just like cats does, multiplied by the square of common letters equals 100%. One hundred percent original crazy cat lady.
Second. This video (See original here)

Uh yeah Kalen is the best. We could totally start a cat colony. Like a nun convent but with cats. 

I think I'm kind of funny

So awhile ago I did a stand-up comedy routine for my ward talent show. I'm still not sure if it was even funny or not, but it amused me, so maybe you will find small enjoyment in it as well. Especially because it's all about our favorite topic--BYU dating. Some things are specific to my ward, but you can ignore those. Also, delivery is a big part so... pretend I'm screaming at you.

"You'll be engaged by December!"

Ridiculicism: The new era of photography

This post will teach you how to take a good picture, like the lovely picture at left. Or maybe even better, since I took that picture and I'm not even a professional. But here are some guidelines that will ensure a professional photograph every time.

1. Get a camera.

Perhaps the most overlooked of all steps, number one is possibly the most important. When selecting a camera, make sure you choose the best quality camera that you can afford. And never go look at cameras that you can't afford, or you'll drool all over them and break them and go into debt to pay for them, and then a tornado will hit your house and take off your roof and you won't even be able to fix it because all your money went to pay for a camera that you can't even use.

Sometimes I worry about you...

Today I recorded some of the random funny things my roommates said to each other. They may not make sense out of context, but then again they didn't make much sense in context either.

This is what a typically day in my dorm sounds like:

"I've spit on you before, did you notice?"

"...You have?"

"Yeah."

"...EW! You're a jerk!"

"Will somebody take a picture of me in front of the fridge?"

I'M IN A CANDY COMA

Reverse Halloween worked! I came back to my dorm and found a giant bowl of candy on our counter. Due to my roommates and I, it is now half gone.

Empty wrappers. Not sure why they're back in the bowl.

Needless to say, we haven't gotten anything done in three hours. My brain is in a cloudy, sugary haze. I have been sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, watching hulu and eating candy with Kelby since 3:30. We have tried to move or do something productive, but our minds just can't handle it right now. It's like information overload. Our cells are in hyperactive overdrive trying to rid our bodies of 10000 times more sugar than we should have eaten, and it's all our minds can do to keep us breathing and keep us from going into cardiac arrest.

"Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore..."

Nope, we're not in Kansas. We're someplace much... different. Utah, baby! Awhile ago, I did a Google search of facts about people who live in Utah. I came up with a list of 50 things that if you experience, you are probably Utahn. You know you live in Utah if...

1. You have four seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.
2. Someone in the Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there.
3. You've ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time.

What is a window?

You've all heard the saying "Eyes are the windows to the soul". If this is true, what does this mean windows are? Here's a little math to figure it out. Let s=soul, w=windows, and e=eye.

Daily Dose of Awkward

• That awkward moment when you run to catch the light and it changes before you get there anyway.
• That awkward moment when you go out of your way to step on a crunchy leaf, you violently stomp on it, and nothing happens. It was still green.

It didn't crunch :(

Dynamic Human Architecture

...I'm not even sure what to say about this. Yep, that's me. Laying in a parking lot. I am "planking".

"Dynamic human architecture" is merely a formal term for "planking". And "planking" is merely a formal term for "laying on random objects because you're bored".

Was it a date?

Those of you girls who are stuck in the "hang out" rut, this is for you (I feel your pain). This flowchart will help you to determine which of your activities have been "hanging out" and which have been actual dates. Remember, if it's a date, it's a date, regardless of what your male counterpart may call it.

The Infamous "Sundate"

Ah, the Sundate. The easiest way for a guy to get a date at BYU. A Sundate is exactly what it sounds like: a date on Sunday evening. Shantel had one last night.

But what exactly IS a Sundate? It can't really be a date, because that would be breaking the Sabbath. So it's not technically a date, but girls and boys pair off and do some fun/free activities. Basically, the guy just has to ask the girl at church if she'll come over to do something "spiritually uplifting", like decorating cookies. Last night, Shantel and her man made scones and then had deep discussions staring into each others' eyes while devouring them. Okay, it wasn't that intense. She just hung out with a guy friend and they ate and talked. (How boring, right?)