Quarter Life Crisis

So, I guess today is my birthday or something. It was on this day twenty years ago that I decided to grace the world with my presence. I say "decided" because I was born 16 days late... Even in the womb I liked sleeping in.
Speaking of sleeping in, I wish I could have slept through today. I might be having a quarter-life crisis. (It's a thing). According to a quiz I took online today, I'll die around age 90. That means I have lived 22% of my life already. And I haven't even done 22% of the things I want to do. And for some things, it's TOO LATE BECAUSE NOW I'LL NEVER BE A TEENAGER AGAIN. I have to be all responsible and adult-like now... (probably).

Get out of my mind!

So with everyone moving away at the end of the semester and all my guy friends going on missions, it feels like everyone I know has vanished off the face of the earth. To avoid that awful hole-in-your-stomach feeling, I've come up with a few ways to keep yourself from missing people! It works with friends, acquaintances, crushes, and even pets. So whether it's your best friend moving to Timbuktu or beloved Goldie passing away after a long fishy life (about 14 days), use these tips to stop the weeping as the plane takes off and the fish transcends the porcelain throne to his watery grave.

Goodbye, Mr. Fish. You were a good fish. You never ran away from home or anything.  :(

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You know that moment when you pulled an all-nighter and you were fine becuase you were doing stuff but then you sat down to watch Hulu and then all of a sudden you're like falling aslepe...? This is that moment. I an also leaving all the typos in this post because I am took tired to fix it. (Haha, good luck, suckers.)

^ You trying to read this pots with its innumerable typos.

Intervention!

I am in desperate need of an intervention. For those of you who leadperfect lives, or don't know how to use a search engine, wikipedia.org defines an intervention as "an orchestrated attempt by family and friends to get someone to seek professional help with an addiction or other serious problem". Well, I have quite a few problems, but I definitely have one more serious than the rest. The past week, the earliest I went to bed was 3 a.m. THREE IN THE MORNING. I am slowly losing my mind. And dying a little bit. So if anyone wants to save my life a little bit by intervening, here is how you conduct an intervention.

Ask others to help.

Sleepytime

Sleep [sleep] to take the rest afforded by a suspension of voluntary bodily functions and the natural suspension, complete or partial, of consciousness; cease being awake. Synonyms: nap, doze, dream, snooze. Antonyms: waking, consciousness, college.

Here I am, writing a post in the middle of the night. The epitome of college, right? Staying up late, passing out from exhaustion in the wee hours of the morning, and then waking up twenty minutes before your first class. E'ery day of my life. You'd think I'd just go to bed earlier. Nah. There's too much to do! Also, I'm rarely tired at a normal "bedtime".