biffle.

So I have this best friend, who is pretty great. And I decided to write this post because she's super awesome and I love her soooo much. And also, because of this.

I obviously only do nice things for her when she makes me*. 

That looks nice enough, right? Except then she sent me a text* and a message* and tweeted at me* to say if I didn't write a really nice blog post about her she was going to kidneypunch^tm me so hard I'd feel it last year*. So this post is for Kalen. Because I'm scared of her*.

*Oh yeah. All of these starred things are lies.

Get out of my mind!

So with everyone moving away at the end of the semester and all my guy friends going on missions, it feels like everyone I know has vanished off the face of the earth. To avoid that awful hole-in-your-stomach feeling, I've come up with a few ways to keep yourself from missing people! It works with friends, acquaintances, crushes, and even pets. So whether it's your best friend moving to Timbuktu or beloved Goldie passing away after a long fishy life (about 14 days), use these tips to stop the weeping as the plane takes off and the fish transcends the porcelain throne to his watery grave.

Goodbye, Mr. Fish. You were a good fish. You never ran away from home or anything.  :(

DAVS

DAVS: [dovs] noun Day After Valentine's Syndrome: Condition that overcomes large groups of people, esp. college campuses, on February 15. Symptoms included bloating, depression, drowsiness, and feelings of indifference and numbness.

Valentine's Day has been a dreaded holiday by many since its origins in 496 A.D. It is supposed to be a day of love and joy in the middle of a dreary winter, but often just increases feelings of loneliness and despair. Also known as SAD, or Singles Awareness Day, Valentine's Day is a touching 24 hours of mushiness, doilies, and kittens for cutesy, PDA-ing couples around the world. Despite its short-lived joy, however, Valentine's Day brings more trouble than it's worth.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

"A friend in need is a friend indeed". I've never really been sure what this saying meant. But it's about friends, and friends in need. Which makes me think about how I have no friends. I am a friend in need.... to myself. I am going to be my very own best friend. And here are the ways, straight from wiki*, that I will utilize to increase my happiness.

1. "Be active". They say exercise releases endorphins into your brain that make you happy. But in my case, the pain from an asthma attack will take my mind off the emotional sorrow and loneliness. Also, hopefully if I work out I'll become more attractive, therefore more desirable, and then maybe people will like me.

Or I'll just die.

Daily Dose of Awkward

• That awkward moment when you run to catch the light and it changes before you get there anyway.
• That awkward moment when you go out of your way to step on a crunchy leaf, you violently stomp on it, and nothing happens. It was still green.

It didn't crunch :(

If you play with fire... Make sure you bring some gasoline

So last night I went to my first bonfire ever. It was HOT.

That's me standing next to the fire. Well, as close as I could get without getting my face melted off.

So for those of you who were like me and have always lived in a fire-regulated area, bonfires are awesome. And HUGE! Before we got the fire started, I was shivering. But as soon as it was crackling and roaring, I was roasting. It was so hot that I had to go jump in the lake. I'm not kidding.

True Blue Football

True Blue Football [troo bloo foot-bawl] noun: The two hours once a year that BYU seems to lose every last scrap of sanity. Basically, Helamen fields are flooded with two feet of frothy, bright blue foam, including two giant slip-n-slides down the hill. There is an area to dance and swim in, complete with tug-of-war and strangers letting you borrow their giant, inflatable sharks to slide around on.