biffle.

So I have this best friend, who is pretty great. And I decided to write this post because she's super awesome and I love her soooo much. And also, because of this.

I obviously only do nice things for her when she makes me*. 

That looks nice enough, right? Except then she sent me a text* and a message* and tweeted at me* to say if I didn't write a really nice blog post about her she was going to kidneypunch^tm me so hard I'd feel it last year*. So this post is for Kalen. Because I'm scared of her*.

*Oh yeah. All of these starred things are lies.
So if you want to get to know Kalen, the first thing you should probably do is watch this video. And this video. And especially, this video. K go do that. Come back when you're done. 

So with all these awesome videos you might be thinking, "What? These girls probably have known each other forever right?"Well you're a little bit wrong. We have known each other for a very, very long time, but we forgot until we were reunited in April. The brief 19-year hiatus in our relationship was clouded with despair and loneliness, but now luckily we can be lonely together. With cake. And since you're probably really jealous, now's your chance to be friends with Kalen, too! Only not best friends 'cause I call her. But here are some things you need to know about Kalen in order to be her almost-best friend. 

1. Kalen is super duper talented. Not only does she do ballet, but she can text and walk at the same time. She also is a really good artist and she can imitate Pokémon really super well. She can sing almost as well as this guy. Additionally she can cut pizza really quickly and make crispy hash browns. 
2. She's famous a few times over. There's a picture of her on Pat Monahan's phone, that he tweeted. She also can direct you to David Archuleta's house (she knows because they're going to get married). Plus she knows me and I'm really famous* so, there you go. 

Pat (from Train...) took this picture.

*Yeah I'm not.
3. Mostly, she's just the bestest friend anyone could ever have. She listens when I whine, and sings along really loudly to the music that neither of us know all the words to, brings me cake, and kidneypunch™es me when I'm being a brat. Also she drives me places, like Walmart at 2 a.m. to get juice and a fan or Target in the morning to get Taylor Swift's new CD. I am so glad I met her and that we are best friends! I don't know what I would do without her. Probably cry so hard that my eyes got all shriveled up and then since they were shriveled I would be blind and I would fall off a cliff and die.

Enjoy this adorable conglomeration of our faces.

4. BONUS: She has really nice nostrils.

Heeheehee.