Cirque du Kittay

One of my ten classes this semester is Physics 107--The Intro to Applied Physics Lab. We had to write a paper for today's class. The assignment:
This paper is to be approximately two pages, double spaced, in a font no larger than 12 point. The papers are to be on a single real-life application of the ideas in the labs you have performed. This is not supposed to be just a restatement of those ideas.

So. Here's my paper. I probably should have entitled it: "Please Don't Fail Me".

            Two words: kitten trapeze. The principles of physics that we have learned thus far in the course are widely applicable, from what happens when I drive to the grocery store to jumping off a building. The rules are also more applicable to more exotic circumstances. For example, when I inevitably become an old cat lady, the physics rules we have learned will help me feed Twinkle von Yum-Yum and my 46 other cats. Through application of these principles, I will run the first, and only, cat circus, Cirque du Kittay.

       The first act in the show coincidentally uses the same principles as our first lab, in which we studied the acceleration due to gravity. As we know, by knowing the acceleration due to gravity, it is possible to calculate the final velocity of a falling object over certain height Δy. For the first act, a kitten will dive off a 15.43 m diving board into a pool of water. This is the exact safe distance for a kitten to fall, since they can survive a final velocity of 12.3 m/s. Because of the lab, I was able to calculate this “safety zone”, thereby saving the kitten’s life.

I only added the pictures online... because I was out of colored ink. 

            Synchronized bungee jumping comes next. Because kittens weigh far less than humans, this act will be able to use simple springs, which also allows me to use the principles we learned in lab 5. With those principles, I will be able to calculate the exact spring constants necessary to ensure that the cats of different weights will be able to fall and rise in synchronism. Though their weights will not directly affect the PE_spring, which equals ½ k y², a heavier kitty will stretch the spring farther, unless I use a stiffer spring. Since the force of the kitty, or its mass*g, equals the spring constant*the distance the spring stretches, I can calculate how stiff the springs I order need to be so that even Chubster can participate in this act without being embarrassed that his spring stretches 2 m farther than the other kittens’.

Go watch this video. 

            Next comes the Kitty Kannon 2000™, which greatly resembles the simple projectile launcher we used in lab 2. Much like lab 2, I need to calculate the distance that Tiger will travel, in order to place a trampoline to catch him at the end. The cannon will be aimed at precisely at 32.6°. Luckily for me, I have a test crash kitten dummy that weighs exactly the same as Tiger and a laser beam that I can use to measure V_o and the height of the flight. Once I find these, I can determine the x and y coordinates of the average velocity, and then use the kinematic equations to calculate the time and the distance that Tiger will travel.

            The grand finale of Cirque du Kittay will of course be the flying trapeze. The trapeze is exactly like the pendulum we used in experiment 5, except with more than one pendulum. Assuming negligible friction, I can calculate the velocity that the kittens will be traveling at the bottom of the swing. This is necessary because my trapeze kittens can only tolerate a certain velocity before they get nauseous. Since g*y= ½ v²,  by knowing the tolerated velocity, I can determine how high I can make the trapeze.

This might be one of the cutest things ever.

            My kitten circus will undoubtedly by wildly successful, all because I was able to apply the principles we learned in Physics 107. The income from the circus revenue will allow me to buy the most healthy cat food, as well as permit me to get each of my kitties a birthday present. Without this lab, I would have no way to ensure that Tiger, Chubster, and all the other cats are safe and shameless. Because of this lab, I will be able to provide for and feed my family while guaranteeing their security.

No kittens were harmed in the making of this paper.