One year older and wiser, too

Well, that's it. My freshman year of college is over. I decided to figure out if I've learned anything at all the past nine months... And I realized I've learned a LOT (surprising, I know). So here's a hodgepodge list of stuff that's been crammed into my brain since September. 

The horror, the horror!

Finals are upon us... And since I have taken three in the last 24 hours, I figure I deserve this blogging break. Today's topic: Everything you need to know about finals.

First of all. Resistance is futile. If you haven't been studying and attending class all along, you're not going to learn anything out of the book. Let's face it. You're going to fail. So why bother trying? Just show up and take them all Monday morning. With 5 tests at an average of 20 minutes each, you could be done in less than two hours! If failure is inevitable, you might as well enjoy the rest of your week. And you can laugh at everyone else who is stressing about studying.

I think I'm still in denial.

Here at BYU, finals are quickly approaching. I have exactly 8 days until my first final. Everyone around me seems to have slipped into some sort of studying hyperdrive mode, yet here I am, frivolously typing away. I feel like I'm addicted to not worrying. So, I'm going to set up a 12-step program for myself to get over it this dysfunctional and addictive behavior.

1. Admit that I am powerless over my addiction--that my life has become unmanageable.

Alright, alright. I admit it. My life is horribly, awfully, twistedly unmanageable. I can't handle it anymore. I can't even open a can of Chef Boyardee Ravioli without breaking down into tears, because I am addicted to contentment. I am addicted to complacency!

Life... Is so... Hard... My lace hankie and the delicate rivulets of mascara flowing down my cheeks show you how truly burdensome this can of ravioli is to my life...