Quarter Life Crisis

So, I guess today is my birthday or something. It was on this day twenty years ago that I decided to grace the world with my presence. I say "decided" because I was born 16 days late... Even in the womb I liked sleeping in.
Speaking of sleeping in, I wish I could have slept through today. I might be having a quarter-life crisis. (It's a thing). According to a quiz I took online today, I'll die around age 90. That means I have lived 22% of my life already. And I haven't even done 22% of the things I want to do. And for some things, it's TOO LATE BECAUSE NOW I'LL NEVER BE A TEENAGER AGAIN. I have to be all responsible and adult-like now... (probably).

All I need is 47 cats

I am basically destined to be a cat lady. Don't believe me? I'll prove it.
First. It's in my blood. My dad hates cats, but obviously these things skip a generation. Plus I'm one-fourth Canadian which starts with "ca-" just like cats does, multiplied by the square of common letters equals 100%. One hundred percent original crazy cat lady.
Second. This video (See original here)

Uh yeah Kalen is the best. We could totally start a cat colony. Like a nun convent but with cats. 

Get out of my mind!

So with everyone moving away at the end of the semester and all my guy friends going on missions, it feels like everyone I know has vanished off the face of the earth. To avoid that awful hole-in-your-stomach feeling, I've come up with a few ways to keep yourself from missing people! It works with friends, acquaintances, crushes, and even pets. So whether it's your best friend moving to Timbuktu or beloved Goldie passing away after a long fishy life (about 14 days), use these tips to stop the weeping as the plane takes off and the fish transcends the porcelain throne to his watery grave.

Goodbye, Mr. Fish. You were a good fish. You never ran away from home or anything.  :(

I think I'm kind of funny

So awhile ago I did a stand-up comedy routine for my ward talent show. I'm still not sure if it was even funny or not, but it amused me, so maybe you will find small enjoyment in it as well. Especially because it's all about our favorite topic--BYU dating. Some things are specific to my ward, but you can ignore those. Also, delivery is a big part so... pretend I'm screaming at you.

"You'll be engaged by December!"

I'm starving!

Over the weekend, I did a media fast for my communications class. Basically, for three days, you "abstain from all forms of electronic media". This includes telephones, cell phones, radios, TVs, computers, and any other communications device powered by electricity. This means that for 72 hours, I was unable to communicate with anyone besides face-to-face contact. It was especially heartrending because my roommates and best friend went out of town for President's Day. Also, it was my Grandma's birthday and I couldn't call. To occupy myself during this media apocalypse, I kept a handwritten captain's log of my pain and suffering (at least for the first 24 hours), and now here it is for your time-wasting enjoyment.

Friday, February 17.

12:01 a.m. It has begun. The time of judgment is nigh at hand. Power down all devices.

1:09 a.m. Already breaking the rules. Turn phone on to text my mother and remind her that if she doesn't hear from me the next three days, I'm not dead. Power down all devices, for real this time.

8:04 a.m. Wake up from a dream about using my computer. Literally drooling. Disgustingly addicted.

Awopierjvkla;*&YAhfk

You know that moment when you pulled an all-nighter and you were fine becuase you were doing stuff but then you sat down to watch Hulu and then all of a sudden you're like falling aslepe...? This is that moment. I an also leaving all the typos in this post because I am took tired to fix it. (Haha, good luck, suckers.)

^ You trying to read this pots with its innumerable typos.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

"A friend in need is a friend indeed". I've never really been sure what this saying meant. But it's about friends, and friends in need. Which makes me think about how I have no friends. I am a friend in need.... to myself. I am going to be my very own best friend. And here are the ways, straight from wiki*, that I will utilize to increase my happiness.

1. "Be active". They say exercise releases endorphins into your brain that make you happy. But in my case, the pain from an asthma attack will take my mind off the emotional sorrow and loneliness. Also, hopefully if I work out I'll become more attractive, therefore more desirable, and then maybe people will like me.

Or I'll just die.