Get out of my mind!

So with everyone moving away at the end of the semester and all my guy friends going on missions, it feels like everyone I know has vanished off the face of the earth. To avoid that awful hole-in-your-stomach feeling, I've come up with a few ways to keep yourself from missing people! It works with friends, acquaintances, crushes, and even pets. So whether it's your best friend moving to Timbuktu or beloved Goldie passing away after a long fishy life (about 14 days), use these tips to stop the weeping as the plane takes off and the fish transcends the porcelain throne to his watery grave.

Goodbye, Mr. Fish. You were a good fish. You never ran away from home or anything.  :(

1. Advent calendars--They're not just for Christmas anymore! For those situations in which your beloved will inevitably return, you could make a little calendar thing with cutesy little doors counting down the days until he/she is home. If you don't know exactly when they'll be back, just keep refilling the same one. Thinking about the remaining length of your separation may depress you slightly more, but hey, at least you get a piece of chocolate every day. But if you're not sure when they will return, eat daintily. 

That's a good first impression after a couple years. 

2. Work out a lot. Especially if you're eating the chocolate. Plus, it's clinically proven blah blah exercising releases happy chemicals into your brain blah blah blah. No one cares about the science-y stuff. You just want to look really good when your crush gets back. ;)
3. Cuddle with a stuffed animal. Unlike friends and dogs, toys cannot run away. They are subject to your hugs as long as you need. It helps also if before your friend vamooses, you steal some of their perfume/cologne to spray on the creature, so that it smells like your darling. (Not recommended if your loved one is a goldfish). 

Awwwwwwww...

4. Write a letter to your dear friend. Especially in the case of missionaries, this is the only communication that you can have with them for 2 years. They love to hear from you, and the great thing about letters? The person on the other end can't tell you to stop talking! (A frequent problem for loudmouths such as myself). Besides, we have to keep the Postal Service in business somehow. 

5. Whatever you do, stop checking your phone! Your dearest one is either phone-less or busy, and checking "one more time" isn't going to change anything. Checking over and over and over again just reopens the wound. Just accept the fact that no one loves you* and move on with your life. 

Courtesy BYU Memes.

*Jesus loves you. But as far as I know, He doesn't text. Also, your mom loves you, but you probably don't text her.
6. Drink heavily. But seriously, if your best friend just moved to Argentina then you're probably dehydrated from all the crying, so it's important to get your fluids. I recommend several tall glasses of water daily. 

7. Bieber. No, not because his music is so inspiring that it will lift your spirits and strengthen your resolve for life, but because you are doing so great in comparison to most celebrities. I mean really, if Britney Spears can make it through 2007, you can make it through the day. 
8. As always, baby animals. You can't help but smile at the adorable creatures. Unless, of course, you are mourning the loss of your own peewee pet... In that case, skip the critter montage. 


This is probably the most classy video you have ever seen, by the way.