Gimme Candy

Happy Halloween! Today is the day we can wear nearly anything and walk around at night stealing candy from strangers. Not only is it accepted, but encouraged! Sounds pretty great, right?

Wrong.

Halloween never works out as well as I expect it to. On the first day of October, I'll start planning my adorable (and modest!) costume. I'll gather materials and work for days and days just so I can look cute (and be warm). I'll have the best costume EVER and I'll look awesome when I try it on in the days leading to Halloween. But the 31st comes, and I put on my costume, and it looks like I dressed up as a garbage can.

Not even a CUTE garbage can...

And then there's the candy issue:

What you expect:

What you actually get:

An overflowing pillowcase of joy and chocolate

5 nasty little pumpkin candy corns... And a toothbrush

You just wasted your night. You're cold, wet, miserable, not even cute anymore, and you don't have any chocolate. Could it get any worse???

I want a reverse Halloween.

Instead of agonizing over a cute costume for days and days, then having to walk around in the cold for hours and hours to get candy that I don't like, I'll stay home, in my comfortable clothes and all warm. And people will come to me. They'll dress up and come to my house to give me candy. I'll be sort of like a restaurant, how you can only use certain credit cards-I only accept certain kinds of candy. You might think people wouldn't go for this, but I think they would. Because they want to share joy and happiness and love. And because I'll say "thank you" and "oh you're so cute".

I think the reverse Halloween should be around Christmas time. Because people are more generous around the holidays, and they will be more willing to buy me the good candy. Also it would probably be on sale so I'll be like, less greedy because I'll be taking less of their money.

Little kids will have the fun of dressing up and walking around in the dark. They will also avoid the classic November 1st candy stomachache. And I will stay warm and see the cute costumes, and get some awesome candy. Plus, the treat-or-trickers (reverse trick-or-treaters) will get to feel the joy that comes with service and giving. Reverse Halloween is just a win-win situation overall. So look for Reverse Halloween: Coming soon to calendars everywhere!