I have seen several things in the past few days that I wish to correct with a small dose of good judgement.
1. Wearing flip-flops and a coat. Uh, really? It's not even that cold today. If you are that freezing, put on some rainbow, knee-high toe socks and man up. Seriously. Also, BYU has a "Shoes at all times on campus" policy, and according to my dad, flip-flops are not shoes. They may cover the bottom of your foot, but they provide no protection from cold, dirt, bugs, or puppies.
They're gonna get you.
2. Talking on your cell phone in the library. Even though it's technically not against the rules in some parts of the library, do you not see the death glares your neighbors are giving you? If looks could kill, you would be passed out on the floor, panting and struggling to regain consciousness. And even if they're okay with it, do you realize it's QUIET in here? That means everyone can hear you. And thanks for sharing, but I really didn't need to know about your infection and the problems it's causing in your love life.
3. Walking around the giant piles of leaves. Use your common sense. Those leaves were obviously placed in a giant pile at the bottom of the stairs for your enjoyment! So go ahead, jump in them. You may lose some of your friends, but you will have my eternal respect. (I always jump in the leaves. So if you're walking around BYU and you see a nerdy freshman running zig-zag through the piles of leaves... Yep probably me.)
So. Fun.
4. Flirting with complete strangers. This advice is for members of both sexes. Sometimes flirting is fun, but please think first. Some steps to follow to practice safe flirting:
a. Before you coquet, pick your target.
First things first... Make sure they're not wearing a wedding ring. Though especially applicable here at BYU, this is important no matter where you are. One time my young women's leader told me a story of how she attended an LDS stake dance, and she got asked to dance by a 15 year old. She thought he was just being nice, until he asked, "So how old are you?" "Uh, actually I'm 30, and married with three kids." Yeah, that's awkward. So make sure you don't hit on the hitched.
No: Do not approach.
Last, and possibly most importantly, the final issue. The others could cause embarrassment for a few moments, but ignoring this warning could permanently endanger your well-being. Here's what you do. Get a puppy. Send it over to your desired flirtee. Watch carefully what they do. If they smile and pet the puppy, go over smiling and saying "Oh, there you are, Spot!" and strike up a conversation. If they sneeze, wait for the puppy to wander away before approaching. If they kick the puppy, call animal services. And do NOT flirt with them.
b. Assess the situation.
If your target is with a big group of friends, do not try to flirt with them. That is just awkward, embarrassing, and uncomfortable. You can, however, scout the crowd for mutual friends-they might be able to set you up later.
If they're alone, try to make eye contact. If they smile a little, you can approach them. Unless they are furiously studying, because then you are just being obnoxious.
Yes: Approach.
No: Do not approach.
c. The big approach
After making eye contact, casually walk over and begin a conversation. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, use a cheesy pick-up line, unless you are ALREADY friends. Pickup lines + stranger = no second chances. The flirtee will appreciate your mature avoidance of over-used, annoying, and stupid lines. You are not trying to hit on them, your goal is a mutual flirt.
If you follow these steps, you will hopefully achieve mutual flirtation- and maybe get a phone number or date, too!
Whether it's flirting or wearing socks, always use your noodle. An ounce of common sense is worth a pound of stupid. Don't be stupid.
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