If you go to the Creamery a lot, you may have a bunch of 3 gallon buckets sitting around your apartment. There are many things that you can use these buckets for, and here are nine of my personal favorites, complete with disgracefully disproportionate photoshop pictures.
1. The Portable Laundry Basket.
If you live someplace like Provo or New York*, then chances are you have to take your laundry to the laundromat or to the basement. This trip can be stressful and embarrassing with regular laundry baskets. But worry no more. With the BYU Creamery Laundry Bucket, you can keep the lid on your personals and your delicates. In addition, its convenient size makes it light and portable. No more cab drivers peeking at your polka-dot pantaloons, and no more losing your favorite socks in the elevator. The bucket will keep both your dirty and clean laundry safe, secret, and secure.
*I know nothing about New York.
2. The Retrieving Basketball Bucket.
Playing basketball* can be fun. But don't you hate it when you shoot a perfect basket, it falls through the net, bounces off the base of the hoop, and goes flying down the street in front of a monster truck only to get cruelly run over and left in a flat, squashed pancake on the asphalt? That totally stinks. With this net, however, you'll never lose another basketball again. It catches as you score. Just make sure you're playing with someone really tall who can retrieve it from the bucket, or someone really bad at basketball who will never get it in the bucket in the first place.
You can also play with Poké Balls. 'Cause this bucket'll catch 'em all.
*I also know nothing about basketball.
3. The Unbreakable Planter.
Pretty self-explanatory. Sure, those red ceramic pots are cute, but have you ever dropped one of those? They shatter as easily as a teenage girl's heart. And are almost as difficult to clean up after. If you use a plastic pail instead, not only will you be able to drop your plants as often as you want, but the antioxidants of the bucket will be absorbed into the soil, acting as a superfood for your pumpkin.
Your pumpkin sprout will be HUGE.
4. The Diabetes Bowl.
5. The Noncommitalist's Suitcase.
Have you ever lost your expensive French luggage on a flight? Well if you have, this one's for you. Just pack a bucket instead! (You may have to duct tape it closed.) There are several advantages of a bucket over luggage. First, you will always be able to spot your stuff on the little merry-go-round thing at the airport. Second, if it's heavy, you don't have to carry it, you can just roll it with your foot. Finally, if it gets lost, no worries! All that's in there is your Hawaiian flowered tourist shirts (Your wife will consider the loss a blessing). And your expensive luggage is still at home safe in your closet. Yay!
Easy to find.
6. The Keep-You-Awake Chair.
Turn your bucket upside down and use it as a chair. The low height and hard seat will ensure that you stay awake. Your legs may get sore, and your buttocks may smart, but you will be able to stay up for your homework, or for a movie (obviously more important).
...Kinda looks like a toilet.
7. The Classy Centerpiece.
Perfect for fancy dinners, birthdays, anniversaries, and weddings.
Sooooo classy.
8. The Snow Sculptor.
You can either use these like sandcastle buckets, or you can set them out overnight full of water. Then make the snow fort of your dream.
Warning: You may turn into a snowman-head.
9. And my personal favorite, the Quiet Cone.
If anyone is being obnoxious, ugly, or obnoxiously ugly (aka rude), then you just take the bucket on their head. Like a parrot when a blanket is placed over the birdcage, the obnox will fall asleep. People talking in class? Someone bragging loudly about a high school swim trophy? A bully mocking a lonely kid? Solved, solved, and solved.
It also solves the problem of people who are obnoxiously attractive.
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