Gimme Candy

Happy Halloween! Today is the day we can wear nearly anything and walk around at night stealing candy from strangers. Not only is it accepted, but encouraged! Sounds pretty great, right?

Wrong.

Becca is not a stripper (even though she's from Vegas)

Today's post will be written in the form of an epic poem, and it will be all about another of my dear roommates: Becca!

She's so pretty!

From Vegas she came

Her long hair a-blowing

In her eyes the flame

A-flickering and glowing

The flame of glory

The flame of triumph

I'll tell you her story

(try not to cry-umph)

"Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore..."

Nope, we're not in Kansas. We're someplace much... different. Utah, baby! Awhile ago, I did a Google search of facts about people who live in Utah. I came up with a list of 50 things that if you experience, you are probably Utahn. You know you live in Utah if...

1. You have four seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and construction.
2. Someone in the Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there.
3. You've ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time.

Kelby: "The coolest roommate in the dorm"

Kelby. The Kelb-meister. Kelbilicious. Kelby-welby. Kelbers.Kelby is another of my roommates. We don't actually share a room, but she's often found sitting on my or Shantel's bed. She REALLY likes us. (Well, mostly Shantel. Everyone loves Shantel.)

Shantel with Kelby. Oh so precious.

What is a window?

You've all heard the saying "Eyes are the windows to the soul". If this is true, what does this mean windows are? Here's a little math to figure it out. Let s=soul, w=windows, and e=eye.

Daily Dose of Awkward

• That awkward moment when you run to catch the light and it changes before you get there anyway.
• That awkward moment when you go out of your way to step on a crunchy leaf, you violently stomp on it, and nothing happens. It was still green.

It didn't crunch :(

Entertaining yourself in Provo

I have gotten very good at entertaining myself, since my roommate Shantel is constantly on dates. And as you know, she is my life. So when she is gone, I have no life. This happens just about every night. Not kidding; last Sunday it was like "Oh, where did Shantel go? Oh, she's over at some guy's apartment making some crepes or something? Oh." She'll go out with a guy and I sit in my room, on the floor, staring at the wall. The roles are never reversed. Because I have been on one date the entire time I've been here. And she was there too. I guess in a way this is good, because it means I won't be getting married in December, contrary to popular BYU stereotype. But at the same time, it means I never eat. Besides canned food and ramen.

If you play with fire... Make sure you bring some gasoline

So last night I went to my first bonfire ever. It was HOT.

That's me standing next to the fire. Well, as close as I could get without getting my face melted off.

So for those of you who were like me and have always lived in a fire-regulated area, bonfires are awesome. And HUGE! Before we got the fire started, I was shivering. But as soon as it was crackling and roaring, I was roasting. It was so hot that I had to go jump in the lake. I'm not kidding.

Dynamic Human Architecture

...I'm not even sure what to say about this. Yep, that's me. Laying in a parking lot. I am "planking".

"Dynamic human architecture" is merely a formal term for "planking". And "planking" is merely a formal term for "laying on random objects because you're bored".

Ode to Charlie

This post is dedicated to Charles Theodore, our beloved friend and companion. He was always here for my roommates and I, through thick and thin. Waiting for us to arrive, he greeted us on moving day with a chirpy little squeak. Every morning, he would say hello as we began a new day, thankful for such a reliable friend.

Sadly, Charlie recently met his demise. One afternoon, Shantel and I were sitting in our front room, working on homework, with Charlie peacefully watching over us with all the care of a loving parent. Suddenly, he was struck by a malicious construction worker in a dump truck. Charlie did not calmly give up his life, however. Before giving up the ghost, he smashed the rooftops of two buildings under construction, as if to say "Ha! Take that you construction worker! I'll show you who you're dealing with!" After his final punch, his broken body collapsed. I watched in horror out the window as Charlie toppled and crashed to the ground, his broken neck and crumpled body lying in a heap like a discarded umbrella. I watched as the caution tape was carefully roped around his lifeless form and as investigators began showing up at the scene. The construction workers all stood at the window, staring in disbelief at gruesome scene that lay beneath them.

Was it a date?

Those of you girls who are stuck in the "hang out" rut, this is for you (I feel your pain). This flowchart will help you to determine which of your activities have been "hanging out" and which have been actual dates. Remember, if it's a date, it's a date, regardless of what your male counterpart may call it.

The Infamous "Sundate"

Ah, the Sundate. The easiest way for a guy to get a date at BYU. A Sundate is exactly what it sounds like: a date on Sunday evening. Shantel had one last night.

But what exactly IS a Sundate? It can't really be a date, because that would be breaking the Sabbath. So it's not technically a date, but girls and boys pair off and do some fun/free activities. Basically, the guy just has to ask the girl at church if she'll come over to do something "spiritually uplifting", like decorating cookies. Last night, Shantel and her man made scones and then had deep discussions staring into each others' eyes while devouring them. Okay, it wasn't that intense. She just hung out with a guy friend and they ate and talked. (How boring, right?)

True Blue Football

True Blue Football [troo bloo foot-bawl] noun: The two hours once a year that BYU seems to lose every last scrap of sanity. Basically, Helamen fields are flooded with two feet of frothy, bright blue foam, including two giant slip-n-slides down the hill. There is an area to dance and swim in, complete with tug-of-war and strangers letting you borrow their giant, inflatable sharks to slide around on.

The Testing Center

One of the first places you will come to know very well as a BYU student: the infamous testing center.

Shantel is my life

This post is dedicated to my roommate, Shantel Sanders. She thinks she is my whole life. Sometimes she is. Let's get to know her a little!

Shantel and me at a football game

Welcome!

Since I recently moved away to college, I am starting this blog to keep my family/friends informed of my comings and goings, and to hopefully be a little bit entertaining in the meanwhile. So welcome to Provo, and go BYU!