Ridiculicism: The new era of photography

This post will teach you how to take a good picture, like the lovely picture at left. Or maybe even better, since I took that picture and I'm not even a professional. But here are some guidelines that will ensure a professional photograph every time.

1. Get a camera.

Perhaps the most overlooked of all steps, number one is possibly the most important. When selecting a camera, make sure you choose the best quality camera that you can afford. And never go look at cameras that you can't afford, or you'll drool all over them and break them and go into debt to pay for them, and then a tornado will hit your house and take off your roof and you won't even be able to fix it because all your money went to pay for a camera that you can't even use.

Science Sillies

Life is stressful, and we all need a good laugh every now and then. To help you do that, here are some classy science jokes. If you don't get them, it's okay; take a chemistry class and then come read them again. I'm like, in college and some of them still took me awhile to understand...

Q: If a bear in Alaska and a bear in Yosemite both fell in the water, which one would dissolve faster?

A: The one in Alaska, because it's polar.

Confucius say... Man who breathe, inspire. Man who do not breathe, expire.

бабушка Юля

This post is about my second to last roommate. Julie! She is obsessed with all things Russia, so I thought it was appropriate to title this post "Grandma Julie", except in Russia. (I think it's pronounced Baba Yulia. And I hope it really says Grandma Julie, and not something vulgar, obscene, or ridiculous. Sorry to anyone in Russia if it is. Google Translate, ya know.) But why "Grandma" Julie? It's because secretly, she is a masked super-hero who is disguised as a gypsy palm-reader called Baba Yulia. She goes around in head scarves, reading palms and saving lives.

Julie and me with our friend Trevor.

More about Julie!

"Don't be stupid" -Thomas Paine

Today is officially "Use Your Common Sense Day". If you don't believe me, I can prove it. It is also "National Chicken Lady Day", but that's beside the point.

I have seen several things in the past few days that I wish to correct with a small dose of good judgement.

1. Wearing flip-flops and a coat. Uh, really? It's not even that cold today. If you are that freezing, put on some rainbow, knee-high toe socks and man up. Seriously. Also, BYU has a "Shoes at all times on campus" policy, and according to my dad, flip-flops are not shoes. They may cover the bottom of your foot, but they provide no protection from cold, dirt, bugs, or puppies.

They're gonna get you.

Idaho: The potatoes are awesome

This post is dedicated to any and all who live in, have lived in, or who will ever live in Idaho. Also, to anyone who likes potatoes. I know that Idahoans get sick of hearing potato jokes, but since I used to live there too, that means I can officially make fun of it.

For those of you unfamiliar with maps, the red one is Idaho.

Idaho had a contest to come up with the best state slogan. They wanted it to be truthful, yet alluring. They waited weeks and weeks, but no submissions came. The deadline was approaching, so finally they just pulled a farmer out of his field and asked him to describe Idaho. So now Idaho's state slogan reads:

Idaho: More than just potatoes... Well, we're not, but they sure are darn good potatoes!

Sometimes I worry about you...

Today I recorded some of the random funny things my roommates said to each other. They may not make sense out of context, but then again they didn't make much sense in context either.

This is what a typically day in my dorm sounds like:

"I've spit on you before, did you notice?"

"...You have?"

"Yeah."

"...EW! You're a jerk!"

"Will somebody take a picture of me in front of the fridge?"

I'M IN A CANDY COMA

Reverse Halloween worked! I came back to my dorm and found a giant bowl of candy on our counter. Due to my roommates and I, it is now half gone.

Empty wrappers. Not sure why they're back in the bowl.

Needless to say, we haven't gotten anything done in three hours. My brain is in a cloudy, sugary haze. I have been sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, watching hulu and eating candy with Kelby since 3:30. We have tried to move or do something productive, but our minds just can't handle it right now. It's like information overload. Our cells are in hyperactive overdrive trying to rid our bodies of 10000 times more sugar than we should have eaten, and it's all our minds can do to keep us breathing and keep us from going into cardiac arrest.