Quarter Life Crisis

So, I guess today is my birthday or something. It was on this day twenty years ago that I decided to grace the world with my presence. I say "decided" because I was born 16 days late... Even in the womb I liked sleeping in.
Speaking of sleeping in, I wish I could have slept through today. I might be having a quarter-life crisis. (It's a thing). According to a quiz I took online today, I'll die around age 90. That means I have lived 22% of my life already. And I haven't even done 22% of the things I want to do. And for some things, it's TOO LATE BECAUSE NOW I'LL NEVER BE A TEENAGER AGAIN. I have to be all responsible and adult-like now... (probably).

biffle.

So I have this best friend, who is pretty great. And I decided to write this post because she's super awesome and I love her soooo much. And also, because of this.

I obviously only do nice things for her when she makes me*. 

That looks nice enough, right? Except then she sent me a text* and a message* and tweeted at me* to say if I didn't write a really nice blog post about her she was going to kidneypunch^tm me so hard I'd feel it last year*. So this post is for Kalen. Because I'm scared of her*.

*Oh yeah. All of these starred things are lies.

20 bucks

My arm has a fever.
I know it's "for my own good", as I said to the nurse, but is it really necessary to stick 37, 000 needles into my poor, frail body? (And by 37, 000 I mean seven. And by frail I mean I didn't eat breakfast.) But seriously. I feel like there's got to be a better way to get people healthy than by viciously jabbing a rusty metal rod into their muscles.
Option #1: Maybe a pill? Then instead of injecting a live virus into the fatty tissue of your arm where it can wreak havoc with your autoimmune system... You could just swallow a little tablet and be done. It's like getting all of the awesome Spidey powers without needing to be bitten by a radioactive arachnid.

Then you could be as happy as this freakishly content woman.
*This picture has been censored for our more sensitive viewers.* 

Hashtag Umm

Recently while on Pinterest, I stumbled across this gem of a pin:

Now, I know that I spend way too many hours on this website and that by 2 a.m. I start to agree with any ol' pin, but this one really is true. When you're a tween, you cannot WAIT to be an adult with all its privileges and glory. But hold onto your britches and quit running towards your imminent grown-up-hood. Because being old is LAME.
The thing about being an "adult" (and by that I mean a college student about to hit my quarter-life crisis), is that it, well, kind of stinks sometimes. It's like those "Expectations vs. Reality memes you see online. Except this is only funny because it's true.

But it looks so good in the pictures...

Cirque du Kittay

One of my ten classes this semester is Physics 107--The Intro to Applied Physics Lab. We had to write a paper for today's class. The assignment:
This paper is to be approximately two pages, double spaced, in a font no larger than 12 point. The papers are to be on a single real-life application of the ideas in the labs you have performed. This is not supposed to be just a restatement of those ideas.

So. Here's my paper. I probably should have entitled it: "Please Don't Fail Me".

            Two words: kitten trapeze. The principles of physics that we have learned thus far in the course are widely applicable, from what happens when I drive to the grocery store to jumping off a building. The rules are also more applicable to more exotic circumstances. For example, when I inevitably become an old cat lady, the physics rules we have learned will help me feed Twinkle von Yum-Yum and my 46 other cats. Through application of these principles, I will run the first, and only, cat circus, Cirque du Kittay.

Today was a Potter Tale

Just for fun. A Harry Potter version of "Today was a Fairytale" by Taylor Swift. I recommend you play that song in the background and loudly sing these lyrics over the top of it. 

Today was a Potter tale
The Dursley's are a mess
I used to be a muggle in distress
Gave me a cake and my wizardry confessed

Today was a Potter tale

All I need is 47 cats

I am basically destined to be a cat lady. Don't believe me? I'll prove it.
First. It's in my blood. My dad hates cats, but obviously these things skip a generation. Plus I'm one-fourth Canadian which starts with "ca-" just like cats does, multiplied by the square of common letters equals 100%. One hundred percent original crazy cat lady.
Second. This video (See original here)

Uh yeah Kalen is the best. We could totally start a cat colony. Like a nun convent but with cats.