Lesser of Two Evils

I apologize for my somewhat lengthy blogging hiatus. You see, I attended spring term here at BYU, where I ACTUALLY HAD FRIENDS!!! And now that I'm home for summer, I haven't had enough motivation to get out of bed before noon, let alone to be witty, sarcastic, and annoying.
So about two months ago, I took the Salt Lake Express shuttle to good ol' Rexburg, Idaho, for my best friend's missionary farewell (Yes, I paid $115.70 for that. But I saved three dollars so it was a good deal). While I was there, I stayed with my wonderful cousin at her apartment. I also got the opportunity to tour BYU-I (aka the "lesser" BYU) and spend a little bit of time on the campus. After this experience, I came to one conclusion.

The similarities between BYU and BYU-I stop after the first three letters in their names. 
Let's explore the socio-economic-cultural differences, shall we? (I've always wanted to use the word "socio-economic-cultural" in a sentence.)
First off, people in Rexburg are WEIRD. Like, I thought the people in Provo were bad, but some of the people I met in Rexburg... Let's just say that they didn't get the lucky end of the freaky stick. To be fair, the weirdest ones were some high school students I met, but even some of the college students were strange. Perhaps it's due to the fact that BYU-I housing, even off-campus housing, has a nightly curfew of midnight- no energy can be released in late-night antics. Or perhaps it's because you always have to wear full-length pants on campus (Victorian England style--but women can wear pants).

Protecting the world from knee and ankle fetishes everywhere. 

Perhaps the stringent codes of behavior suppress the students so much that their hormones and inner craziness explodes in the form of riotous laughter, dumb jokes, and overall strange personalities.

Then again, maybe it's not the student rules... Maybe it's Idaho itself. It's way too flat. Like jeans without pockets. You just get lost. 

Where am I, I don't even know because this entire city is flatter than Jillian Michaels' stomach.

The main thing you need to know about BYU-I is that it is attempting to educate the entire Western Hemisphere. With the track system, plus online classes, and workshops, it seems like BYU-I is the year-round school of the college world, juggling way more students than you thought possible for the 13 classrooms. 

Shockingly, BYU-I does have one distinct advantage over BYU. That would be the beautiful gardens. In the middle of campus, there is just this huge park-esque thing with plants and ponds and trees and ducks and it's actually really pretty. Though you do stumble across this quite often: 

They don't call it "BYU-I do"for nothing. 

I even had the serendipity to stumble upon the after-effects of one of these lovely tree carvings. 

That's one of the several million weddings that occur annually in Rexburg. 

So maybe it's the pressure to get married that causes the awkward tension in the atmosphere. 

Honestly though, I have a feeling that there is just a limited gene pool in Idaho and that the absurdity of people is caused merely by too many cousins accidentally cross-breeding. 

But don't tell anyone from Idaho that I said that.