Rock. Bottom.

In college, sometimes you have moments that make you wonder. Wonder what to do, major in, become. Wonder about life itself. And especially, wonder why you have friends. These little moments are lovingly referred to as "petra deorsum". That's the scientific name for "rock bottom". This has been the theme of my weekend.

Number one. I am very, very ashamed of it but... The only thing I've accomplished today (besides successfully photo bombing a wedding this morning, which is a whole 'nother story) is watching the entire seventeenth season of "America's Next Top Model". I also watched an episode of "Shark Tank", while NTM was buffering...

The only food we have in the apartment? Eggs and hot dog buns.

Lunch. Yes. That is indeed an egg salad sandwich on a hot dog bun.

You find yourself writing songs to memorize things for finals. Both for Latin conjugations and Alma's missionary approaches in the Book of Mormon. Not to mention the "20 amino acids in our bodies" song. That's a really good one.

Rock bottom is when the best part of your day is playing "hot lava" and getting to stand on your kitchen counter. And texting your 15-year-old brother about it.

All he said was, "Cool story bro."

You trade your friend two eggs for some fried rice because you're both sick of eating only one thing all day. (Thanks again, Daniel!) Also, you think it's funny because it sort of feels like a drug deal. (Creepy foggy night, both in "gangstah" clothes, quick exchange, and then run away.)

Rock bottom means getting excited about sleeping on the couch because of the Christmas lights in the front room. "It'll be like sleeping in a fairy house!"

The good part about rock bottom is when you realize it will someday end. For example, tomorrow I get to go home and eat real meat! (Mom, please make some hamburger or something. I have had chicken and turkey but I have only had beef once this entire semester... And it was from a can.)

I could literally just eat that straight... Sure, I'd prefer it cooked, but beggars can't be choosers.

You know you've hit rock bottom when you take a goooood look in the mirror... And realize you are sitting on the kitchen counter, eating Panda Express leftovers, at 2 in the morning. Thinking "If I go to bed now, I can still get a good 4 hours of sleep!"

You make a delicious meal on Sunday night, then eat the leftovers for four days. Cold spaghetti for breakfast, aww yeah!

You realize you've been wearing the same outfit for 48 hours because you never bothered to get dressed. You're home alone with one roommate. No one cares. Least of all you. On the same token, you haven't put on makeup since the cute guy you have a crush on left town.

You know you've hit rock bottom when you've got no food, so for breakfast you and your roommies go to the Creamery Outlet and get Sprite in a glass bottle, seven layer dip, and pumpkin pie. Oh, and a corn dog.

It was really tasty...

You get a good 8-9 hours of sleep. Get up for five hours. Then take a 3 hour nap, simply because you have nothing else to do. Rock bottom epitomized. (Not to mention that you nap in your clothes, then you get up and put on your pajamas.)

You've checked Facebook, Pinterest, and your email account so often that you get excited when the Housing Office sends you an email saying "Yo, lock yo bedroom doors 'cause there's gonna be some o' our peeps performin' maintenance in yo apartments while you gone".

You clean the apartment and take out the trash. 24 hours later, there are three full bags of trash in your kitchen.

The essence of rock bottom: Rather than having a life, you play the game of Life on your couch for four hours. You lose.

P.S. I wrote this sitting on my kitchen counter.