Bucket List

If you go to the Creamery a lot, you may have a bunch of 3 gallon buckets sitting around your apartment. There are many things that you can use these buckets for, and here are nine of my personal favorites, complete with disgracefully disproportionate photoshop pictures.

Creamery on Ninth

The Creamery. It's sort of like the BYU Walmart. There are ridiculously long lines at weird hours of the day--like nine o' clock at night. Weird, random items in bins in the back of the store, like q-tips and polka-dot socks. You go there for one thing, can't find it, and end up spending ten or fifteen dollars on something completely different. Also, you can shop there if you have slippers on, but not if you're wearing short shorts or a tank top. It is also Heritage Halls' top date destination. I'm not kidding. I've been on three dates that involved the Creamery.

Also, if you go to the Creamery's web page, down in the bottom left corner, there is a link of "Date Ideas". Or scroll down to "Delicious Dating". WARNING: This content may not be suitable for children who are lactose intolerant... Because it's so cheesy!

Why is the Creamery so amazing? Let's dissect it, aisle by aisle.

Zumba! Because we ate too much.

Two days ago was Thanksgiving. I ate and ate and ate... And gained six pounds. So last night, Julie and I decided that since we are the only ones at home, we would work out a little bit. We looked up some Zumba videos on Youtube...

We felt like the girls in the white pants, but I'm pretty sure we actually looked like the lady in the background in the red T-shirt. Which is why we made sure the blinds were closed. (Look at her around 2:35... That's us.)

We died a little bit, and sweat a lot. But it's okay, because sweat is just fat crying. And there was some fat left over from Thanksgiving that needed to cry. (Holiday leftovers are not always a good thing.)

Happy Thanksgiving.. Eve?

I haven't posted in awhile... Because this week is a holiday week! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is basically a big excuse for America to take a day off of work and just eat. (Because that's EXACTLY what the obesity pandemic needs, right?) The real purpose of Thanksgiving, however, is to remember your blessings and be grateful for everything in your life. That being said, here is a video of my chemistry teacher blowing up a turkey balloon.

Well, that was exciting.

Frant

Frant [frant] noun: loud, declamatory, complaining, or extravagant speech, occurring on a Friday. See also: complaint, tirade, vociferation.

Frant posts are dedicated to you, dear readers. They are the things that everyone complains about throughout the month, but never has anyone to complain to. Some are funny, some serious, some awesome, and some just plain stupid.

• The good news is, we still have running water. The bad news is, it's all cold. The worse news is, the heat is off.
• I just want to tell him, 'I'd love to stay and chat, but I hate you.'

Weapons of Mass Distraction

Naked puppies! There, now I have your attention. Have you noticed how easy it is to get distracted? It's like, I get online to do my homework, and the next thing you know, I'm pinning an adorable puppy on Facebook. How does this happen? I'm not sure. But, here are some ways to get more distracted. Because it wasn't easy enough before.

1. Pinterest. For those of you who haven't heard of it, it sounds really dumb when you explain it. Basically you scroll through little pictures and you can like them or repin them on your boards. It's solely a time waster. The bad thing is, it gives you other things to distract yourself with. Like new hairdos. Or cookies!

Sleepytime

Sleep [sleep] to take the rest afforded by a suspension of voluntary bodily functions and the natural suspension, complete or partial, of consciousness; cease being awake. Synonyms: nap, doze, dream, snooze. Antonyms: waking, consciousness, college.

Here I am, writing a post in the middle of the night. The epitome of college, right? Staying up late, passing out from exhaustion in the wee hours of the morning, and then waking up twenty minutes before your first class. E'ery day of my life. You'd think I'd just go to bed earlier. Nah. There's too much to do! Also, I'm rarely tired at a normal "bedtime".

Room 4106's Fabulous Fort!

Over the weekend, my roommies and I wanted some quality bonding time together. So what did we do? We built a fort that filled our entire living room.

This is the view from the window side of the room.

I know what you're thinking right now. "How in the world did you construct such a fabulous piece of architecture? And how can I do the same??" Well, I'll tell you.

Pumpkin Escapades

Look at this cute little pumpkin. He looks so shy and unassuming, so quiet and friendly, right?

WRONG.

This pumpkin has been creeping around our apartment, hiding in peculiar spots, trying to catch us unawares for days.

Does this post make me look fat?

Food. Every college student dreams of it. The rare weekends when mothers visit and cook dinner cause vegetarians to rebel and eat 3 pieces of chicken. Thanksgiving is euphoria. I'm sure you're all wondering, what DO college students really eat, besides ice cream and pizza? Well, I can't say I'm the norm when it comes to my diet, but I would say I'm by no means the exception either, so here is my limited insight into the dietary habits of Homo sapiens collegians.

College= (High school) * 1,000,000,000,000,000,000

I have been talking to a few of my friends recently who are still in high school, and I realized something. I did not like high school. I managed to have a fun time with extracurriculars and friends, but school as a whole was dreadful, despite some enjoyable classes. By the end of senior year, I was SO ready for college. And now that I'm here, it is AWWEEESSSOMMMMEEEEE.... Here are some reasons why.

1. The schedule.

First of all, the daily schedule. In high school, you were required to be at school, in a desk, for 7 hours every day. My high school was from 7:30 AM to 2:10 PM. That is a looooong time. In college, you don't have that. You get to pick how many classes a day you take, and at what time you take them. So if you don't want to have class until 1:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, you don't! And if you only want to have two classes on Fridays, you do!

Ridiculicism: The new era of photography

This post will teach you how to take a good picture, like the lovely picture at left. Or maybe even better, since I took that picture and I'm not even a professional. But here are some guidelines that will ensure a professional photograph every time.

1. Get a camera.

Perhaps the most overlooked of all steps, number one is possibly the most important. When selecting a camera, make sure you choose the best quality camera that you can afford. And never go look at cameras that you can't afford, or you'll drool all over them and break them and go into debt to pay for them, and then a tornado will hit your house and take off your roof and you won't even be able to fix it because all your money went to pay for a camera that you can't even use.

Science Sillies

Life is stressful, and we all need a good laugh every now and then. To help you do that, here are some classy science jokes. If you don't get them, it's okay; take a chemistry class and then come read them again. I'm like, in college and some of them still took me awhile to understand...

Q: If a bear in Alaska and a bear in Yosemite both fell in the water, which one would dissolve faster?

A: The one in Alaska, because it's polar.

Confucius say... Man who breathe, inspire. Man who do not breathe, expire.

бабушка Юля

This post is about my second to last roommate. Julie! She is obsessed with all things Russia, so I thought it was appropriate to title this post "Grandma Julie", except in Russia. (I think it's pronounced Baba Yulia. And I hope it really says Grandma Julie, and not something vulgar, obscene, or ridiculous. Sorry to anyone in Russia if it is. Google Translate, ya know.) But why "Grandma" Julie? It's because secretly, she is a masked super-hero who is disguised as a gypsy palm-reader called Baba Yulia. She goes around in head scarves, reading palms and saving lives.

Julie and me with our friend Trevor.

More about Julie!

"Don't be stupid" -Thomas Paine

Today is officially "Use Your Common Sense Day". If you don't believe me, I can prove it. It is also "National Chicken Lady Day", but that's beside the point.

I have seen several things in the past few days that I wish to correct with a small dose of good judgement.

1. Wearing flip-flops and a coat. Uh, really? It's not even that cold today. If you are that freezing, put on some rainbow, knee-high toe socks and man up. Seriously. Also, BYU has a "Shoes at all times on campus" policy, and according to my dad, flip-flops are not shoes. They may cover the bottom of your foot, but they provide no protection from cold, dirt, bugs, or puppies.

They're gonna get you.

Idaho: The potatoes are awesome

This post is dedicated to any and all who live in, have lived in, or who will ever live in Idaho. Also, to anyone who likes potatoes. I know that Idahoans get sick of hearing potato jokes, but since I used to live there too, that means I can officially make fun of it.

For those of you unfamiliar with maps, the red one is Idaho.

Idaho had a contest to come up with the best state slogan. They wanted it to be truthful, yet alluring. They waited weeks and weeks, but no submissions came. The deadline was approaching, so finally they just pulled a farmer out of his field and asked him to describe Idaho. So now Idaho's state slogan reads:

Idaho: More than just potatoes... Well, we're not, but they sure are darn good potatoes!

Sometimes I worry about you...

Today I recorded some of the random funny things my roommates said to each other. They may not make sense out of context, but then again they didn't make much sense in context either.

This is what a typically day in my dorm sounds like:

"I've spit on you before, did you notice?"

"...You have?"

"Yeah."

"...EW! You're a jerk!"

"Will somebody take a picture of me in front of the fridge?"

I'M IN A CANDY COMA

Reverse Halloween worked! I came back to my dorm and found a giant bowl of candy on our counter. Due to my roommates and I, it is now half gone.

Empty wrappers. Not sure why they're back in the bowl.

Needless to say, we haven't gotten anything done in three hours. My brain is in a cloudy, sugary haze. I have been sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, watching hulu and eating candy with Kelby since 3:30. We have tried to move or do something productive, but our minds just can't handle it right now. It's like information overload. Our cells are in hyperactive overdrive trying to rid our bodies of 10000 times more sugar than we should have eaten, and it's all our minds can do to keep us breathing and keep us from going into cardiac arrest.